Yesterday, I told my therapist of my plans. My plans to check myself into a mental hospital come Sunday, had I not made any progress. He responded by saying that he doesn’t want to see me end up there. He believes I can do this on my own. And with that, I gave myself a week. I’m giving myself until my next appointment with him, and then we will discuss what I need to do.
I haven’t eaten in 3 days, I’m pretty sure I’m surviving off of just caffiene and nicotine. I’m trying to take care of the wounds on my arm from where I scratched them so desperately. I’ve currently got a headache, probably from lack of eating.
So, today began the week of recovery. Where each day I will actively take steps to overcoming this depressive episode. I got off to a good start, yet I will remain honest as I post my stories. I will be posting every day about the things I have done to recover. And the things that may hurt my recovery. My goal in this is to not only keep myself accountable, but to share my recovery methods in hopes that they may be useful to others. I’m in no way a professional, so please keep in mind that these things I do are things that work for myself, not medical advice.
Today, I didn’t push myself too hard for progress in recovery. I was supposed to go somewhere new, somewhere different. I went to one of my favorite coffee shops to work, instead. But, I still got out of the house. I spent a few hours drinking coffee and working on a freelance writing job I had the opportunity to write. Normally, I would not have gone out of my apartment and I definitely would not have agreed to write for someone else who had such a short deadline. I did it though, and I’m proud.
I’ve pretty much written all day today, and drank coffee. I’m no longer in that phase of feeling numb to my depression and so, writing finally feels good again. I feel like I can understand what I’m saying, and I hope you can, too.
I cleaned up my bedroom a bit, and put some dishes in the dishwasher. Tomorrow, I have many plans for cleaning around the apartment. Lots of laundry that needs to be done.
I will continue on with my normal posts, which seem to be daily at the moment. I will also post updates like this on how my recovery week is going. I hope this inspires you all to create your own personalized recovery week, day, month, or however long you need.
Remember, it’s okay to stumble. Recovery doesn’t mean it’s a promise you’ll never feel depression again. But, it’s a step in a healthy direction that we can all benefit from.