I have been beating myself up since first thing this morning. Yesterday, I had such a good and productive day. Today, I woke up at 10am and didn’t feel like doing a damn thing. My whole body aches from how long I stayed in bed. My head is killing me and all I want to do is go back in there and curl back up under the covers.
Thankfully, I do have things I need to get done today so, I won’t be lounging in the house throwing s pity party all day. I’ve got to pay my rent, go to a psychiatrist appointment, and maybe try and stop by a coffee shop for a bit.
I’m worn out, and I’ve got to somehow find the courage to be okay with that. I did so much yesterday, I’m trying so hard to be proud of myself for it. It’s hard to acknowledge what you’ve accomplished while fighting depression. I feel like kicking myself for not doing the things I needed to today, yet while I do them I think to myself, “what’s the point?”
When we have depression, anxiety, PTSD, ADD/ADHD, or whatever it may be, we need to not compare one day to another. We need to remember to be gentle with ourselves. One day we might have the strength to do what is needed of us, the next we may not have the same strength. And that’s okay.
I made a list of 3 things I need to accomplish every day. However, I need to realize that it’s okay to adjust to each day. It’s not a set rule that my life will fall apart if I don’t do laundry today. I did enough yesterday that I can afford to put it off until tomorrow. So, maybe today I accomplish two things on my list. Maybe add a third from another day that I can easily do today.
Life is about the ups and downs. No day is exactly the same as the one before. Remember when fighting, some days you need to save your strength for bigger battles in the future but, you will win. One day, the depression will go away. And that’s a promise I can believe in.