mental health, Uncategorized

Baby Steps

A reader mentioned to me today how they were looking forward to reading about my psychiatrist appointment. This made me so happy to hear from someone about what type of things you guys would like for me to share! I might start posting little pieces after psychiatrist appointments and therapy appointments. If anyone has anything they’d like to read about, please comment or email me at: 


Yesterday, I went to my psychiatrist appointment that I had moved up a week early. My therapist was actually the one to ask me to move up my appointment because he felt that there needed to be a change to something. He was right. 

Typically, I have to wait a while after my appointment time to get in to see my psychiatrist as she spends as much time needed with each individual. For me, our appointments seem to go fairly quickly as I get most of my talking done with my therapist. This appointment, however, went a little longer that usual. 

I walked in, and sat down on the sofa. Smiled, as I introduced myself to a grad student there taking notes. I love to see people going after their goals so I was more than happy to have her sitting in. My psychiatrist asked how I was and when I said, “Not so good,” she made a joke about how no one is lately and it must be because of the super super moon later this month! While it may have something to do with it, we both knew there was more to the story. So, I told her what was wrong.

I started listing off the things I’d noticed. I wasn’t doing anything but sitting on my patio, I was smoking up to 2 1/2 packs of cigarettes a day, I feel like none of my medication is working, I self harmed not too long ago, and I just can’t do things. Oh, and that I hadn’t eaten for 2 weeks and that my ex had made contact with me. 

Immediately, she knew how to solve my issues. First of all, smoking cigarettes increases your metabolism, making you lose weight. It also makes things like ADD medication work less effectively. So, my first step is to cut back on my smoking again, thank god. It was getting expensive. 

Secondly, she finally admitted that the antidepressants she’s had me on just were not working well enough. We’d been trying these for months and nothing truly happened with them. So, she’s decided to take me off of them and put me on new antidepressants. For those of you wondering, I was on Prozac and Rexulti. Now, she’s having me go on Prozac as well as Lexapro. The Prozac alone no longer works, so she’s paired it up with something that might. 

We also discovered that my major depressive episodes are coming from cutting off contact with my ex. This is the third time I’ve recently tried cutting him out of my life, and the third time this year I’ve found myself having a Depressive Episode. So, thankfully now that he’s officially gone and we can no longer contact one another, it should be a while before I experience another episode. Hopefully. 

I started my Lexapro last night. I have to take it with food, so that means finally forcing myself to eat something. For the first time, an antidepressant made me tired like it was supposed to. I’m hoping this is a sign that it is working. I should be able to see changes within the first week, more so once I up my dose and continue taking it regularly. Fingers crossed this one does the job! 

I have my therapy appointment later today, I’m excited to tell him that I’m feeling much better at the moment. But, I realize that it could just be for today. Who knows what tomorrow has in store. Instead of worrying about it, I’m staying present in the day I’ve been given. I’ve also given all my worries to my God and having faith that He will take care of me. I know not everyone is a Christian, but there is still hope and love for everyone one of us. Let your worries go, and focus on what lays ahead for today. Worry about tomorrow, well, tomorrow. 



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