mental health, Uncategorized

A Letter to Myself on Days When I Can’t Function

Dear Me, 

You will have days that start off like any other day. You will get your medication, drink your coffee, and sit outside in the morning air. Nothing will be different. But then, time ticks by quickly and you notice that. Your mind starts to get anxious about the things you said you would do this morning, you put them off for the sake of relaxing. 

As time goes on, your mind will grow weary. You’ll take your 2nd ADD medication in hopes it will help, but it won’t. Your mind is growing more and more clouded, full of to do lists and lists of things you’ve failed to accomplish. You will think up past events, even create some new ones in your mind. 

I want you to know, that you’ll be okay. Sure, the pain from this constant headache is getting you down. You don’t know what to do. Your body feels like moving, but your brain has no idea what direction to go in. You’re stuck listening to a thousand voices telling you a hundred different things. 

You will be okay. And you are okay. This will pass, and you need to remember that it’s okay to let it pass. It’s okay to lie down and let this take its ride through your mind, fighting it only wears you out more.

When the ADD and anxiety crazy train shows up, it’s okay to give up. Just don’t unpack and live there. It’s okay to take a day to yourself, where you do absolutely nothing. You got out of bed and sometimes, that is accomplishment enough. 

I want you to remember, you are making progress even if you don’t feel like you are. You’ve taken tremendous steps towards recovery. You’ve sought professional help, you seek God’s guidance, and you learn to love yourself each day. 

It’s okay to have days when you chain smoke 2 packs and you can’t remember the last thing you said. It’s okay to just breathe and wait for the day to be done and over with. Sometimes, you just need that fresh start of a new morning. And that’s okay. 

As far as Warren baby goes, he gets it. He knows something isn’t right with his fur mom today. You’ve tried your best with him. You’ve cuddle him, you’ve loved him, and you’ve fed him. He knows you’re trying your best. He knows you’re struggling. Let him make you laugh, let him be the comfort you need. He’s your emotional support dog, let him do his job. 

At the end of the day, you’ll go to bed. You’ll curl up underneath the covers and fall asleep. The next morning waits for you with the promise of a new day. 



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