Lately, I’ve noticed something different. Something, small but, amazing. The moment I realized it was when I did my makeup for fun, not because I “had” to. What I realized is simple, I’m getting back to me.
At first, I was going to title this, Signs I’m Getting Better (Even If I Don’t Feel It), but I figured that’s not the best way to describe what’s going on. I don’t know how long I’ll be “better.” I start a new medication tomorrow, it could take all of this away from me. Maybe I won’t start it, I don’t know. Anyway, I’m feeling pretty damn good today. And it’s rare that this feeling lasts beyond noon. I took my ADD meds at the right time, will take them again as the day goes on, and things seem to be looking up.
But, how do I notice when I’m getting back to the basics of myself? What makes it obvious for me that things are looking up? Chances are, it’ll be different for everyone. But, maybe you can relate. Or, maybe you’ll begin to notice that things have been looking up for you, too.
For the last few months it’s been nothing but no makeup or bare minimum makeup. Anytime I felt I had to go all out, I freaking dreaded it. And I’d never try anything new, it was always the same old routine. Now, I’m enjoying putting my makeup on for the day. I actually think about it, and try new ways of wearing it.
I was in cosmetology school for a reason. And every time I get depressed, I lose sight of that reason. Truth is, I fucking love doing my hair and makeup. I find it creative and inspiring. Sure, in some cases it may be a bit vein but, if you truly find joy in something, do it. As long as it’s healthy for you.
I write these even when I’m depressed but, they stress me out then. When I can look at a to do list and not feel anxious about it, I know something has changed for the better. And that I’ll probably complete it! (Btw, 10 Things is my list of 10 Things I’m Grateful For each day.)
When I’m feeling better, it’s easier to get out and go for a walk. I throw on my badass sunglasses and enjoy the sun on my face. Whether it’s to check the mail or just to get out, it’s beneficial. I do this even when depressed but, I’ll admit something. Some days he may only get one or two walks, others he won’t get any. It’s something I’ve had to work hard to become routine, but it’s finally working out.
This is probably the most important thing on this list. Other than God, this is probably the reason the other things are even on this list. To be honest, nothing else was happening until I started my yoga practice back up again. I’m only on Day 3 and the mental and physical changes are amazing. I can feel my side muscles being sore, and my core tightening already. Other than that, it’s helped with my anxiety and created a more calm home for my mind.
If you’re wondering what I do for yoga, I watch Yoga With Adrienne videos on YouTube. She’s the perfect instructor for me. She’s funny and kind. Right now, I’m doing her current 31 Day Challenge for the New Year. It’s helping ease me back into my practice. However, the other thing I love about her channel is the Yoga for Healing playlist. It has yoga sequences to help with anxiety, depression, anger, heartbrokeness, and even sleep.
These are just a few things I’ve noticed about myself the past couple days. I’m excited to be able to write this post and I hope you all get to experience this joy of returning to yourself.