2016 was all about self discovery and learning who I truly am. I’m happy to say that by the end of 2016, I accomplished that. I became myself again, fully. I’m so grateful and happy to be able to say that. It’s something I will never take for granted.
However, were now entering the 2nd week of 2017 and things are going to be different. I’ve discovered myself, so my next step? Getting shit done. Or, the year for change. It’s time to put myself into action and accomplish even more to further myself down the path to my dreams. So, I created a list of things I’d like to work on changing.
1. Sitting Around Doing Nothing
Towards the end of last year (damn, already last year) I spent the majority of my time not doing shit. Literally, there have been entire days gone by that I spent staring at my phone refreshing facebook. How pathetic is that? But you know what? It’s okay. While I recognize that I need fewer of these days, they’re still needed. Some days all you can do is sit there, and that’s fine. But at some point you need to realize this life is worth kicking yourself in the ass and getting up and continuing living.
I’m very odd when it comes to routines. Lay out a list of things I’m supposed to do every day and I probably won’t do them. However, I’ve subconsciously created my own routines and habits that I grow to need every day. One example would be, picking up my boyfriend after he gets off of work. This is not a part of my daily routine I have written down. He doesn’t live with me, therefore he doesn’t NEED me to make this part of my day. However, I’ve become so used to it that when a day goes by that I don’t go get him around 5 or 6, my whole day is thrown off.
I do however have a list of things to do each day. I have my morning routine, my day routine, and my night routine. I started these last week, this is kinda like the first official week of me doing them. While I’m not exactly on time with everything, I’ve learned it’s okay to be a little bit flexible as long as you get what needs to be done, done. I’ll post more about my routines later.
3. Not Working Out.
This is a tough one for me. In high school while all my friends were at the gym, I was at home binge watching Netflix and stuffing my face with chips. Hell, last night I spent $20 on a damn cake! But, this is something that I’ve quickly realized makes a HUGE difference. Now, I’m still not the, go to the gym and lift weights and get stuck in odd machines while creepy men stare at my ass, kind of person. Instead, I’d rather have a chill and mellow workout, ALONE.
Because I live with Anxiety, getting my heart racing can put me into a panic attack. So, I do yoga on a daily basis. In the past I was quick to do only practices revolving around mental healthiness and not body toning or anything like that. I’m currently doing a month long challenge focused around both aspects of yoga. I’ve found it incredibly helpful.
4. Not Following Through
With Bipolar ll comes hypomania, with hypomania comes an ADD state of mind. Racing thoughts, too many great ideas. It’s difficult to not follow through on things and easy to leave everything uncompleted. So, I want to truly try my best to work on completing things I start and follow through on my goals.
5. Being A Mess
Whether it’s a messy bedroom, messy patio, or messy hair, I don’t want to be a damn mess anymore. 2015 and 2016 gave me the nickname of being a hot mess and I don’t like it. Never have. I don’t want to be a hot mess! While I may never fully get out of being a bit of a mess, I want to at least look put together. Not so other people think that I am, but so I think that I am!
6. Not Eating
During 2016 I quit eating. Straight up. I just quit. There were 2 weeks I went without eating a damn thing. While my body is thankful for the weight lost, it’s not healthy. So, I’m going to eat at least once a day, even if that means cooking dinner for myself. Ugh.
7. Spending Money
I just need to stop, okay? As mentioned earlier, $20 on a cake. I won’t even spend $20 on a pair of pants! What the fuck. Just, I need to stop it.
8. Negative Self Talk
This is a big one for anyone struggling with mental illness, or just a poor outlook on life. I want to stop hating on myself, I want to stop looking down on who I am. Tell myself more how great I am and tell myself less how everything bad in this world is my own fault.