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Rainy Day


Today has been my favorite kind of day, rainy. But, truthfully, I can’t remember most of it. I remember going out and doing things, but before that, not a damn clue. 

I can recall my boyfriend playing video games, I know I drank coffee, and every time I wanted to be alone my boyfriend joined me, but that’s about it. I don’t know why this morning is such a blur, but hopefully this doesn’t continue. 

I’m stressed, I’m tired, and I’m not myself. My emotions range from irritated to slightly annoyed. That’s not me. My boyfriend has been getting on my nerves, my mistakes have been getting on my nerves, my own mind has been annoying the hell out of me. It’s torture. 

I want to write, but it’s difficult to. I want to draw, but I can’t seem to at the moment. I want peace and quiet but between the man inside talking to himself playing video games and my neighbors moving in, there’s no quiet except for a few moments here and there. 

The things I want to do seem to not be able to get done. I want to clean, but it seems like so much work to do so. I want to have my recovery all planned out to start fresh for tomorrow, but I can’t seem to pick up a pen. I want to paint things to sell, but who would buy things I worked on? I’m nobody. 

A day away from my own thoughts, damn that’d be nice. 

-Liz

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