You’ve Got to Force Me

So, there’s this art festival in old town tonight and I’ve really wanted to go for the past couple days. We had plans to go tonight, but now I’m just not feeling it. Thanks, depression and social anxiety. 

See, today we were out from 9am until like, 2pm. I’m socially exhausted. And I just want to sit at home and do nothing. But, that also makes me want to cry. Because, it’s not truly me that wants to do nothing, it’s my depression. 

I’ve been talking about how this whole depression thing is a huge pit that I can either fall into or walk around. Well, me not going would be like dangling on the edge. It’d be a regret weighing me down helping me to fall. By going, I’m getting up, holding my boyfriend’s hand, and starting the journey around this never ending pit of darkness. 

I choose to be strong tonight. I choose to look damn good doing it, too. I should have bought those heels at Goodwill today. Anyway, I’m going to rock tonight, tonight will be my night. I’ll try and document it for you, but the purpose is to live in the moment. 



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