mental health, Uncategorized

A Letter To The Man Who Made Me Leave The House

Dear Lovely Boyfriend of Mine,

Thank you. Yesterday was a damn busy day. We were out literally all day, even having seen my parents. Which, of course, takes a lot out of me mentally. I over did myself. I was socially exhausted, mentally exhausted, and physically exhausted. All I wanted to do when we got home was go to sleep. And cry. Just a little bit. 

However, deep down, I really wanted to go to that art festival that was happening this weekend. But, I knew we’d be out past our early bedtime and that just didn’t sound like fun. I wanted so badly to stay home, but we both knew I needed to get out and have fun. Other than shopping at Goodwill. 

So, in an attempt to feel better I did my makeup and even squeezed my fat ass into my leather pants. I threw on some heels and was ready to go! Kinda. I was still tired and in order to get me out of the house we had to make a deal that we’d go to P.F. Chang’s for dinner. When I’m in the beginning stages of depression, nothing is worth it unless it involves food. Later on, though, I can’t eat anything. 

It was a beautiful night full of lights and art. Tons of dogs, and little kids, too. I hate being in crowds, but being with you makes it not all that bad. We took tons of pictures, I even made you stop for a moment so you could appreciate the life that surrounded us. People talking, water moving, it was lovely. In that moment I was able to appreciate everything I had. Thank you. 

Thank you for making me live last night, thank you for holding my hand while I faced it. 

I’ve been comparing my depression to a dark pit I can either walk around, or fall into. Last night, you helped me walk around it a bit more. You held my hand as I walked along the edge, hoping not to fall. 

I’ve still got a long walk ahead of me, but I know you’ll be there for some of it. 

Thank you. 



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