I usually stay away from blog posts like this one. I love to read them, but writing them usually isn’t my cup of tea. Because I drink coffee. However, it will probably benefit me from trying some of these ideas out myself. So, I’ll be honest with you. I’m not writing this as a person who has all the answers, I’m writing as someone who needs this advice as well.
1. Stop Overthing Every Damn Thing
We make life so dang complicated by overthinking. I’m guilty of it so much. I even spent this morning over thinking my blog post. But, when I caught myself I instantly made a change. What was going on was I changed my mind about a post to write yesterday, so I stole from today (I’m actually starting to plan out my posts, guys!). Anyway, that left me without something to write, and I didn’t want to steal again from tomorrow because then I’d just be putting off having to come up with something new, again. Luckily, I remembered I worked a bit on this post last night. So, now here we are!
My best advice for over thinking is this. If you’re trying to make a choice about whether to do this dishes, write a post, or even shower, give yourself 30 seconds to decide. I read this from The Positivity Blog. They also suggested that if you’ve got a bigger choice to make, say like, should I date this guy or should I sign up for the class, give yourself 30 minutes, or maybe even all day. But, make a choice by dinner! If it’s something bigger, like buying a house, give yourself a deadline of a couple days.
My personal advice is a little bit more challenging. When I over think things it’s like, why does my boyfriend have texts from an unknown number? Thanks to my ex, I’m terrified of having another relationship end because I’m being cheated on. As soon as I saw that number, my mind went out of control. So, I calmly talked to him. I asked what that number was and told him I wasn’t trying to be controlling or untrusting, just that shit has happened in the past that makes me worry. He was totally fine with it, and if he’s not okay with it, do want that kind of negativity in your life? I think not.
One last piece of advice, add a mantra where you will see it daily. This one is hard for me, I tend to over look things. But I’m going to give it a shot. Try something like, “keep things extremely simple” or, even something like, “don’t fucking overthink shit, Liz.”
2. Let The Negativity Go
There are things in life that we are surrounded by every day that are negatively impacting our lives. For me, it’s Facebook. Sure, there are some funny memes and you get updated on your friends’ lives, but there is so much negative spam on my Facebook. I blame it on the excessive liking pages when it was a thing to like a page you related to. Now my Facebook is just trash half the time. I would start a new one, but so many photos would be lost!
Negativity in our lives can also come from the people we surround ourselves with. Even as a teenager, I knew when it was time to cut out someone negatively impacting my life. Although, at 19 I forgot what that meant and spent all summer wasted until I got arrested.
My advice is this, get rid of at least two negative things. For me, it’s less time on Facebook. From now on, I’ll only go on there if I have a notification or I need to share something important. Other than that, I downloaded StumbleUpon which has a lot more interesting things on there for me to read. I’m also limiting my time spent talking to a certain person, okay, my mother. Lately, she’s been pretty decent, but negativitiy flows through her half the time. As much as I love her, limited time is probably best.
3. Live In The Now
This one is challenging for me. I’m always thinking of the past or future, sometimes both at the same time. Most people will tell you to meditate or pick out like, our 5 senses in the moment. I’m going to simplify this for you. Stare at one spot, or close your eyes of you like. Take a deep breath, and just notice the sounds. For me, it’s landscapers, the typing on my phone, birds, Call of Duty, and my boyfriend talking to himself while playing video games. This actually made me feel a bit better, I love hearing him talk to himself while playing video games, it makes me laugh.
4. Stop Comparing Yourself To Those Damn Instagram Models (or anyone else)
This is something I’ve struggled with A LOT lately. For some reason, depression has made me focus on the fact that I don’t look perfect and my apartment doesn’t look like Pinterest walked in after a long night of binge drinking and threw up all over the place.
Yes, some girls (or guys) actually look like those people on Instagram. I would know, I used to be in a class with one of them. It can make you so insecure. But, it’s okay. Because real life isn’t perfect, we all have our flaws. If you don’t like something, change it. For me, it’s the little bit of belly fat I’ve got going on. I’m about to go to Florida and it’s going to be another week of pressure to look good in a bikini. Obviously, I don’t want to change bad enough because I’m sitting on my ass right now. So, I’m going to work on the way I see myself, and work on being confident enough to rock that bikini. Also, it might help to get a new one that fits properly.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to who you used to be. Look back (don’t stay too long, remember, live in the moment). Who are you now compared to a year ago? For me, I cared way too much about making it look like I had the perfect life. I’d do my makeup perfect (which I miss), I’d do yoga and show it off, I’d even drink $7 juices. Now, I’m confident enough to go out without makeup, I don’t do yoga as often as I’d like but I don’t have to show it off, and instead of spending $7 on a juice, I spend $4 on a coffee. Okay, more like $10 because my boyfriend needs some Starbucks in his life, too.
If you find you don’t like something about now that you liked then, work on changing it. I like that I went to school a year ago, I don’t like that I’m not going to school now. So, while in Florida, I’m going to have a long talk about why I should go back to school. And hopefully, this fall I’ll be working towards a degree in psychology.
5. Stop Doing Nothing And Expecting Change
This is a hard one for me. I do absolutely nothing to Better how I live my life. I’m not working towards anything, but I can. I can start small like, making myself clean the apartment and actually keep it clean! I’m afraid to, I don’t know why, but I am. Maybe secretly I think I don’t deserve an apartment I love, or maybe I’ve just simply gotten used to having my boyfriend pick up the slack. Either way, things need to change. And once I get myself moving, it’ll be easier to keep myself moving.
If you want to lose the weight, or make the lifestyle change, or make that project work, start doing things! It only takes little small steps each day. You got this.
6. Stop Trying To Be So Damn Perfect
A lot of the time I don’t do something because I know it won’t be perfect. I don’t write the post because I’m not in a sarcastic mood and it won’t turn out badass. Or, I don’t paint because I know it will look like shit.
Just stop it. Flaws mean unique. Handmade means flaws. You don’t have to look perfect before doing something, you don’t have to perfectly clean the apartment to do it. Just do it and do the best you can, then be proud that you actually did it. Accept the flaws, accept the uniqueness that is your own outcome of trying.
7. Ignore The Negative People
Remember number 2? This one is so important. Negative people have a tendency to get into our minds and feed on our insecurities. If we don’t let go of these people, we start to believe what they say, believe we deserve how they treat us. As someone who has been emotionally abused for YEARS, I know how hard it is to let go of your abuser, or negative friend. We create this weird, creepy attachment to them because we start to believe what they say. They validate what we think of ourselves. I struggled with a boyfriend who was like this, as well as my mom. It took me years to accept that I am not a slut, I’m not crazy, I didn’t deserve to be raped, and I’m not a selfish bitch. The list goes on. But take the trash out, guys. Let it go. Learn to love yourself, flaws and all. Yes, I’ve slept around, but I’m not a slut. Yes, I have panic attacks, but I’m not crazy. Yes, I was drugged and raped, but I didn’t ask for it. Yes, I can be selfish and I have my bitchy moments, but I know I care about people and I’m generally a nice person.
8. Take Small Steps Daily
Do little things here and there that will build up to something bigger. Like, my apartment situation. It’s not a disaster, but it’s a bit cluttered. I can start by doing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen one day. Then the next I tackle the living room. You don’t have to do everything at once. One week work on getting your blog out there so people can see it, the next work on creating interactive ways to include your readers. Don’t do everything at once, that’s how you get overwhelmed. Break it down, take it day by day.
I love comments!
What are some of your ideas for a better life? What have you done that encourages you daily and feeds positivity into your life or others around you? I love the inspiration that comes from hearing what you’ve done! Also, which of these ideas do you want to try? I’m excited for the first one, quitting over thinking. The advice for setting deadlines, it’s already becoming a habit!