Typically, after my boyfriend gets off of work we get ready to go out to dinner. Sure, we live together and could easily just make dinner at home and then watch some tv but, where’s the fun in that? It’s nice to get all dressed up and go out together. Even if it’s to the same restaurant every weekend. But it’s nice, I strongly believe that no matter how long you’re together or how often you’re with each other, you need to have date nights. Just keep dating, keep getting ready and going out. It can be fun!
But, what about if you have social anxiety? Or, really any anxiety at all? You may want to go out, but you just don’t know if you can deal with the anxious feelings that go along with it. So, you change your mind. You’re staying home in your yoga pants with no makeup on and that’s that. Or, for you men out there, staying home in your boxers and playing video games and that’s that.
However, deep down you really want to go out and live life. You really do want to get ready, but you feel like you just can’t. It’s okay, I’m right there with you almost every time I decide to go do absolutely anything. Like right now, I need to go to the grocery store, but I’m wearing shorts that are way too unflattering and I want to do my makeup before I leave, but I just don’t feel like it.
My best advice is this, don’t give into the fucking monster that is your negative thoughts creating anxiety. I mean, you’re going on date night! You’re not alone, you’ve got someone you trust with you. At least I hope you trust your date, if you don’t then stay home alone and binge watch Friends.
Get ready, put that makeup on, do your hair, rock those heels. Or, if you’re a guy, put on a button up shirt, roll the sleeves up, and put some jeans on. God, you men have it easy. Like, how do you do that?
This is to the women out there, enjoy the process of getting ready. Don’t make it a boring and dull routine. Try a new makeup look, try a new hairstyle, wear that dress you never get to wear.
Most importantly, believe in yourself. You’re strong enough to go out and have fun, don’t let anxiety tell you otherwise. If it’s too bad, go to a drive thru, order your food, and eat together in the car. That’s what my man and I did yesterday. What’s important is getting out of the house together and having a good time. It doesn’t matter if you sit in the car and eat or if you go to a five star restaurant, the important thing is you’re together and you’re having a good time.
Trust your date, if they’re trustworthy. Again, if you don’t trust them then stay your ass at home. If it’s someone fairly new to your life, be honest with them. Let them know you’re anxious about going out. If they’re worth your time, they’ll understand and help out. If they don’t, stay your ass at home.
But, please, try and enjoy yourself. Focus on your date, take time picking out what you will eat, and don’t let the noise get to you if you’re somewhere busy. Enjoy the moment, rest in the fact that you just took a HUGE step in telling your anxiety to fuck off. Smile, thank your date for getting you out of the house. You’ve made it. You can do it.
As for me, I’ll probably be staying home tonight. Not because I’m anxious, but because my boyfriend wants to buy fancy boots this weekend and I want to make sure he has enough money to do so. Because I loves him. Plus, next weekend we will be in Florida and every night will be a date night!
What are your tips to conquer anxiety before going out? Even if it’s to the grocery store? Seriously, I need some advice on that one. Let me know in the comments!