This past week I’ve struggled with what to write for my blog. Should I cuss? Am I funny enough? Is my life actually interesting? All I’ve done today is drink a pot of coffee…
I decided to throw out all me already prepared posts and just go for it. Live life freely, and write my blog just as freely. I don’t want the anxiety of having to have a certain post done by a certain time right now. In this moment in my life, I want to write about whatever happens to be on my heart at the time.
Damn… I need some coffee.
At the moment, I’m currently flying to Florida to visit some family. I haven’t seen some of them in years and I’m really thankful to be able to have this opportunity to go. However, my anxiety is very mad at me.
In the past few months, I have not been able to really leave my apartment. I just got to the point where I can go to the grocery store for short amounts of time, but anywhere else? No, thank you. Not without a trusting friend, anyway. This is not a good feeling for me, I grew up never wanting to live a life in fear. As long as what I was doing, I loved with my whole heart, then I was okay. I love going to concerts, but I had to make sure I brought someone I trusted. Even to go to target one day, he had to go with me. Thankfully, he’s a great person that’ll go with me about anywhere.
One thing I’ve learned from all of this is that the amount of time you’ve known someone has nothing to do with trust. I trust my newest friend almost as much as I trust my best friend in the entire world. We’ve known each other for less than a year, but how great these past few months have been. We’ve had our moments, been a little too open and honest (okay, I confessed to him I’m crushing on him hard), and we’ve been through shit. He’s had my back through some tough times, since day one, really. And likewise, I’ve tried to have his back as much as I can. He needs a friend? I’m there. I need to cuddle and watch Netflix? He’s got Netflix and the best cuddles.
I realized this morning who truly has my back. My best friend texted me as soon as she woke up to make sure she told me to have a great trip. On my way to the airport, guy I’m crushing on texted me to say he hopes I have a good flight. They’ve got my back. I know this, because they both know just how anxious I can be. What they don’t realize is that just knowing they care enough to think about me, totally made my heart melt. As someone with anxiety, we tend to have the bad habit of thinking no one cares. So, the smallest little things mean the world to us.
It’s Come Our Time is meant to inspire. Not only those who read it, but myself as well. It’s Come Our Time to stand up for ourselves, stand up against our struggles, and believe in ourselves.
Right now, I’m getting back to me. The best way I know how, travel. Fly as far as life allows. If this opportunity hadn’t come up, I would have driven to the mountains. Sometimes, you need to risk it all, take every chance you can. Get back to who you were meant to be. That’s why I’m flying for 4hours with my fur baby.