Get Motivated With Depression

I’ll be honest, I’m completely fueled by the strong coffee my boyfriend made this morning. Like, I’m so jittery right now it’s not even funny. Yay coffee! 

Anyway, it’s hard to get motivated when depression is telling you that nothing is worth it. Nothing has no point to it. I get it, I’m there right now. And if it weren’t for the caffeine making me absolutely need to be doing something, I’m not sure I’d even write this post. But here I am, giving it a shot and trying to beat the hell out of that depressive voice yelling at me that I can’t do this shit. Ya know what depression? Fuck You.

Ideas To Help You Find Motivation During Depression


1. Get Ready For The Day

I don’t care if you’re doing nothing but sitting on your patio drinking coffee and chain smoking all day, get ready. Oh, wait, that’s just me? Still, you get the point. Even if you’re staying at home all day, get ready. Even if you just put on fancy yoga pants. 

  • Shower
  • Do your hair/makeup
  • Get dressed

2. Drink Coffee

Or tea. Whatever helps you get ready for the day. Obviously, I’ve had a whole damn pot of coffee and nothing can stop me! Seriously, so much coffee. I need to be stopped. 

3. Set Small Goals For The Day

Just three simple, small goals to tackle for the day. Like, empty out half the dishwasher. Or, walk the dog. Just something simple and easy. Hell, once you get started on that half of the dishes you may even finish the rest. That’s what happened for me yesterday. 

4. Learn How To Be Compassionate To Yourself

Instead of being down on yourself because you can’t do as much as you could when you weren’t depressed, try being compassionate to yourself. Tell yourself things are okay. Remind yourself that you’re sick, obviously you can’t do as much as you could when you’re feeling well. It’s okay to have a day when you’re not feeling up to cleaning the whole fucking apartment. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it. 

5. Think Of How You’ll Feel Afterwards

Whether it be going to the grocery store, going to work, or cleaning something, think of how you’ll feel after. You’ll probably feel proud of yourself for accomplishing something. Thinking of the pain of doing it can keep you sitting still hiding away. Think of how good it’ll feel to have a fridge full of healthy foods, earning a paycheck, or finally emptying that sink of dishes that have been “soaking” for a week. 

6. Make It Your Goal To Get It Done

Chances are, when you’re depressed you won’t actually enjoy the things you usually enjoy. But, some of these things still need to be done. Draw that picture, write that blog post. Even if you don’t enjoy it. Remember, think of how you’ll feel afterwards. 

7. Reward Yourself

After accomplishing something, reward yourself. You stepped out of your depression comfort zone, that’s a huge step! Go eat some ice cream! 

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Home


We’re back home and I can’t wait to update everyone! A new post coming soon!

-Liz

If I Let Fear Win


If I let fear win, I wouldn’t live at all. I’d still be sitting on my patio doing nothing. I wouldn’t have had the conversations I’ve had with my boyfriend, I wouldn’t have gotten to take him to the beach, there would have been no laughter about a street performer dressed as a clown. It would be dull to let my fears win, but it would have been safer. 

Right now, I’m wishing I let my fears win. I’m on a plane, so far it’s been a pretty smooth flight. However, I’m freaking out inside. I can’t get the thoughts to stop. Worrying about other people’s actions, mostly. At least until it’s time to land. 

I have no advice for you this time, just honest thoughts from the air. I’ll be getting back to writing for you soon. 

-Liz

Stolen

This past week I learned a hard lesson, depression can not always be controlled. Even though being diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder, I thought I was one of those people who could choose whether or not to be depressed. I thought that depression would come whenever it wanted, but I had the choice as to whether or not it would stay. Turns out, I don’t have that power. Not on my own, anyway.

For the last month my depression has gone untreated. My medication that is supposed to help my moods has obviously not helped my moods. I’ve basically been going on my own for a month now, and I can’t fight this battle alone. 

After being turned away from the hospital for not being suicidal, I gave in. I started taking my stimulants again to help ease the pain of my depression. Stimulants are normally used for ADD, however they have antidepressant benefits. And god, have they helped. 

I can look at myself in the mirror again. I can see a glimmer of light again. I no longer want to injure myself and I no longer want to hide away while the pain runs its course. But I know it’s temporary, the stimulants will wear off and I will be back to being depressed. But, it’s saving myself. It’s keeping me sane until I can go see my psychiatrist. 

When depression hits as hard as it hit me, life gets unbearable. You can’t see any hope, you feel as though it’ll last forever. It won’t, but it feels like it will. 

Together, we will beat depression. 

-Liz

It’s In The Little Things


Usually when we think of self care we think of brushing our teeth, showering, and getting a good night’s rest or eating healthy. But when we’re depressed, those things can seem like way too much to handle. 

Well, self care is in the little things we do, too. It’s in the things that make us happier without even realizing it. The things that we take for granted often. You don’t have to go out of your way in order to take care of yourself. 

I challenge you to write down 10 self care things you’re doing without realizing it. Take a moment to think back on them, how does it feel to realize you actually are taking care of yourself? Be grateful. 

Here’s mine:

1. Drinking my coffee. 

Every morning, I sit outside and drink my coffee with my boyfriend. We don’t say much, we just look at Facebook and share funnt memes with each other. It’s a nice time when there is no pressure to do things or to talk. Just each other’s could company and a good cup of coffee.

I also usually spend my days drinking coffee, or at least taking coffee breaks throughout the day. It’s something I enjoy, sitting down to write or even just sitting down to enjoy the coffee.

2. Watching TV. 

I’ll be honest, I usually hate watching tv. Partially because I feel like I’m wasting time, partially because we don’t have cable and there’s never anything on. That is, unless I want to start watching Days of Our Lives and having something to talk to my mother about. But today, I sat down and watched travel shows with my boyfriend while we ate a couple snacks. It was a nice way to relax and gave us something to talk about. 

3. Naps. 

When I feel overwhelmed, the one thing I want to do is nap. It’s a great break from the world, and is required when you have depression and anxiety for some people. To just turn off the noise in our minds, it can help save us. 

4. Snacks. 

When I’m depressed, I don’t eat. So, it’s a great idea to keep little healthy snacks in the house. I sometimes go overboard and will eat the majority of the snacks in one sitting. However, that’s usually when they’re unhealthy ones. By keeping healthy snacks like popcorn (not movie theater popcorn) and salads I’m able to eat light and keep myself going. 

5. Friends. 

By this, I mean the tv show. It’s nice to check out of reality and enjoy the laughter of this show. It lifts my mood and helps me feel better. That’s about it, it’s one of my go to shows. The other being, Gilmore Girls.

6. Actual Friends. 

I’ll be honest here, I’ve lost a lot of friends recently. Between my isolation of depression and being consumed by a new relationship, I haven’t seen my friends lately. Also, quitting drinking probably had something to do with it, too. I love my friends, even the ones I no longer talk to, but the ones I do have make my days so much easier. I know I have friends in Tennessee that just want the best for me. I know I have a friend in California that will always be by my side. And I know I have my boyfriend’s sisters (who I considered my own sisters even before I met him) that will always pick me up when I’m down. Truly, my best friend in the world is one of my rocks. Without her, who knows where I’d be.

7. Thrift Stores.

I love thrift store shopping recently, mainly at Goodwill. Every other week they have half off days and I can get a shirt for like, $2. We’ve bought furniture and repainted them, we’ve bought little things here and there to make the apartment nice. It gives me something to do, and I love it. 

8. Therapy. 

Something that can start to seem routine, especially if you go often. But it’s nice to sit down and talk about how your life is going and get professional advice as to what to do next. My therapist is the best I’ve had, and he helps me to figure out what steps I should take to get back into life. Now, if only I’d listen to him every time. 

9. Writing. 

Getting my thoughts out and sharing them has made a huge impact on me. Normally, I’d keep everything bottled up. But lately, I’ve been sharing almost everything and it feels so good. I hate keeping journals because I’ll write things now and never read them again. But here, my thoughts and ideas have the power to help others and to inspire. And that means the world to me. 

10. Going To Church.

Something I haven’t done in months, but will begin again starting tomorrow. Church is a great place for inspiration for me. And I love it. I’ll be honest, I’m not always a fan of people you find at church. You know, the ones who like to pretend their lives are perfect. However, there are people there who are broken hearted sinners searching for hope, just like me. And those, those are my people. 

If you feel like it, share your 10 things in the comments! I’d love to know what you do for self care, and you might even inspire me or someone else to try something new! 

-Liz

A Happy Day


I’m glad to let you all know that I’m feeling much, much better this weekend. While I’m still struggling with some parts of depression and anxiety, I’ve actually been able to do some things. 

This morning I put away my laundry that had been sitting there for two weeks and I made the bed. Sure, it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but when you’re depressed it’s a hell of a mountain to climb.

I’m also happy to let you guys know of the good news we received yesterday. 

We will be taking a trip to Florida soon to visit my grandparents, this comes after having been in the hospital. My grandma feels it’ll be best to get out for a while and have some fun. We all need a little fun in our lives! Plus, one of the best self care things you can do is go to the beach. In my opinion, at least. 

Also, God has blessed us with a place to live once our lease is up! Something that has been causing several breakdowns this past week. And now, I can sit back and relax. It’s a tiny little townhouse, but its perfect for us. And is a roof over our heads. I’m so grateful for the friends that will be renting to us, they helped save us. I couldn’t be more excited! 

I’m so glad to be writing about some good things going on in life, especially after this past week. 

A special thank you to all my readers and friends, your support gets me through. I love the comments and I can’t wait to hear more from you all! Thank you. 

-Liz

This Is What We Call Bullshit


As many of you know, I went to the hospital this morning to get help with my depression. This is not what happened. 

Apparently, my depression is not bad enough to be helped. What kind of bullshit is this? 

It’s been hell living in my mind this past week, but because I don’t want to kill myself I’m not able to get help until my psychiatrist comes back from her vacation. 

I was told to come back if I start feeling suicidal. What about before that? What about the people who don’t want to wait around until they feel like ending it all? We should be helping prevent the feeling of suicidal thoughts, not waiting until they come around. 

-Liz

I Am Strong


Today, I am stronger than ever. Today, I go to the hospital to get help. 

I’ve had it thrown in my face a lot that “I need help” or, “you belong in the mental hospital.” These insults have kept me from getting the help I’ve needed for years. Actually, for most of my life. And today, I have to try and silence those insults as I drive to the hospital to get treatment. 

I’m not going to a mental health hospital as the ones around here are inpatient only. I’m going to be going to the regular hospital in hopes they can get me back on the right medication. 

Ever since I was taken off of stimulants since it turns out I don’t actually have ADD, my depression has been slipping back into my life. I noticed it, but one weekend I ignored it. And now, here I am. 

Yesterday, and so far today, haven’t been very bad. I think it’s because I know I’m going to be getting the help I need. But the days before, they were hell. I had never before completely lost myself until this week. When I looked in the mirror, I couldn’t see me. I only saw hatred and disgust. I hit the bathroom counter with so much force that my hand hurt the next day. I was losing control of me.

My therapist wanted me to get in contact with my psychiatrist but, she’s on a vacation. So, my only option is the hospital. Who knows if they’ll even be able to help me. Hopefully they will. 

I’m scared, but I’ve got my boyfriend by my side. He will stand by me every step of the way. I know this. 

I will be strong for myself today. I will be strong for others today. I’ll be keeping everyone updated on my Instagram account, living.positivelywild 

-Liz

Keep Yourself Busy

While spending time before going to the hospital, I was told to keep myself busy, work on little projects. And the truth is, there are so many little projects I could be doing. I’ve got so much stuff around the apartment I could do. The only problem? I don’t wanna do it. And you can’t make me! 

No, truthfully, I really want to do them. I really do. I want to make pillows, I want to clean the apartment, I want to weave or cross-stitch. The only problem? I can’t find it in me to enjoy these things like I used to. Depression has stolen my joy. 

It’s probably the most frustrating part of being depressed, nothing makes you happier. All the little things you once loved, they no longer serve a purpose. Therefore, it feeds into that thinking of nothing having meaning. 

I know I’m still alive in there somewhere, I can feel joy from my writing. So, you may hear a lot from me today. It’s the only thing that keeps me going. 

-Liz

And Here’s A Little Plot Twist

In keeping with stay truthful and honest, I have some news for my readers about my mental health condition. 

Currently, I am stable and thinking clearly. However, this was not the case as of yesterday and has not been the case since Monday. This is just a lull, a calm in the middle of the storm. And while I am grateful for the break, I know this is still to be taken seriously. 

As many of you know, I have not been able to function nor think clearly. I have been struggling with my self esteem greatly. Yesterday, I looked at myself in the mirror and was so full of hate and disgust that it turned to rage and I hit the bathroom counter so hard that my hand hurt even as I fell asleep last night. I was in pain all day. 

I’ve been struggling greatly with feelings of worthlessness and anger. This is believed to be a depression caused by chemical issues as I’ve had my medication changed. I do not have anything currently treating my depression. 

So, to update you all, I will be headed to the hospital either tomorrow or Saturday. My doctor is currently on vacation and so my only option for help is the emergency room. I’m only waiting because I feel I am able to control myself for another day or so. 

In the meantime, I will be trying to keep myself busy doing projects and keeping in touch with close friends and family. 

I want to make it clear, while I am terrified of having to go to the hospital, it does not make me weak. It makes me stronger to accept that I need help. Do not be afraid to seek help and reach out if you are not doing well. Save yourself. 

-Liz